


Unfortunately

by Timpeni



Category: Samurai Warriors
Genre: Gen, i didn't mean to write even more angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 09:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2688239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timpeni/pseuds/Timpeni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's always just that lucky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfortunately

When she finally packed her things and walked right out of her home, Koshōshō looked back just once to count the number of faces who still cared about her. She assigned each face a name, and then imprinted each one of them into her mind, before praying that she’d never have to see those faces again.

She prays and she prays, at the graves of people she once knew. She prays for the living, prays for their restful afterlife, and the tombstones are all she can apologize to.

But there is no one left to forgive her.

~*~

She sets off for the capital with the men who are charmed merely by the way she speaks their name, and leaves it with nothing but the scarf she kept from home. But no, it would be too simple to say just that; before she left, when everything still seemed to be going well, there was gold at her feet and plans in her head.

An endless amount of plans, but all limited by time. She counted the days that the men around her have been loyal; and she contrasted this to how long an ordinary person back home could withstand her misfortune. She divided those days into the turns of the moon, calculating how many would leave as it waxes and wanes. She found pockets of power and opportunities for more, with masses of discontent clans all around her.

At one point, she contemplates about whether she’s truly sunken so low that she’d involve peasants in the fight, before sighing and throwing away any remaining notion of honor that bound down her Devil’s luck.

When the Miyoshi clan (or rather just Hisahide) sees all her scrawled words, messy with numbers and war plans that were based on what she claimed as ‘my reputation’, he laughed until Koshōshō could see that the moon rise up into the sky. He laughed because of her reputation, and because everything clicked together.

He took one look at the plans and said, “So, even the Maid of Misfortune has no control over her fate?”

He stopped laughing by the time he hired her the next time.

And it’s astounding, how Nobunaga can somehow defy reality and tear apart what is ‘impossible’. In another life, she could be fascinated, but one glance at the supposed villain of the age ruled out that possibility.

Hisahide paid her well; as well as the losing side could, anyway. And before she retreated, she passed by the enemy camp, and could barely see a pathetic shadow of a man from an open window in the castle high up.

And so to the Hisahide that wasn’t listening, she whispered, “There is no one who has control over their fate, Hisahide. Not even the Demon King trying to twist the world to his favor. Things go awry and it’s just too unfortunate. Only an idiot won’t be able to see that.”

She’s on the losing side, again and again, because despite everything people keep hiring her despite the curse that she’ll inflict. Koshōshō sees Nobunaga walk free from Hisahide’s lackluster murder attempt, and before that she didn’t see Nagamasa when she was supposed to hold out till he arrived.

Everything goes up in flames, and she’s wondering why the hell no one realizes she’s the one bringing them misfortune.

(Because she isn’t. There were going to fail, in the end, because of variables that don’t involve turning soldiers into numbers and how many good luck charms she’s destroyed in anger when they don’t work.

But it’s not like she knows; it’s not like she can go back in time, and see the battle unfold without her involvement. To realize that everything would’ve gone the same way, and so, she shambles closer to her helpless fate.)

When she goes back to Shikoku, everything goes well. Kanesada almost withers at her feet and the Ōtomo reinforcements come just in time. (Which is a bit too close for call, they should’ve arrived earlier.) She throws away any sense of fondness and breaks off any real friendships she can form before they do, losing herself in her own mayhem of ambition and power.

That is, until her hands are tied in battle.

She took one look at Chōsokabe Motochika and knew she was in trouble.

It wasn’t as if she feared death, or if she feared pain. She’s been battered and bruised more times than her reputation can allow her to admit. The removal of the Maid of Misfortune from the world would be inconsequential, since she worked only for herself, and now she couldn’t even do that much. Better yet, there’s now no chance that the few she’s left behind would be bitten by her misfortune once again. The people who still have faces and names in her memory, though she wonders if they’ve changed over the years. No, it's not the idea of death that troubles her-- it's the idea that Motochika will pull something absurd, and as his prisoner, she'll be involved.

“Get out of here,” Motochika says, and she can only sigh as he continues to leave her alive.

“I’m going to become the ruler of Shikoku. If you don’t like it, try to stop me.”

Koshōshō turns way, before muttering a bit too loudly: “I really don’t understand you.”

But at the same time, it’s much more preferable to the simple men she understood all too well. And so, without needing to be his prisoner, she involves herself in his absurdities.

~*~

To be honest, the girl was absolutely impossible at first. Nothing but smiles and energy all day, making it hard to tell if she was optimistic or not yet disillusioned to the bloodshed all around her. Koshōshō considered rejecting Gracia outright, but somehow the way she bounced after her and fought tooth and nail wiped away any notions of just leaving her. Koshōshō would find herself looking behind her back in battle to check if Gracia is _still there_ , still following, and not finally eaten up by the monsters of the waking world that consume children so.

Most alarmingly, though, she would find herself stringing Gracia along as she sent men down on their knees and all over her feet, even though she doubted the girl would ever have the ability to do that.

And so, they grew on her. They grew and grew and grew, with Motochika never stopping to spew nonsense about defying fate, and Gracia never faltering even when Koshōshō’s misfortune brought trees falling on her head and sand flying into her eyes.

They grew like a parasite on a tree, roots digging into the bark with leaves trailing down the body, and covered her so thick that she was no longer able to cut them away without destroying herself.

And so, after Gracia was left with no one but her teacher and her father’s good friend, Koshōshō could not run away.

“That’s a lie,” the girl breathed, her cheery tone never quite leaving but also never returning to how it was before. “You won’t run away. I won’t run away. You, me and Motochika, we’re all the same.”

Koshōshō could only stare down at the approaching Toyotomi navy with no words reaching her lips.

~*~

There was no way in hell Koshōshō would let Gracia fight in an army set to conquer the land, even if she had to send the girl away kicking and screaming.

And that’s exactly what she does. She’s desperate, desperate to defy her fate, desperate just like how her teacher is, right now--

“If you’re going to fight in the future,” Koshōshō says, because she just _knows_ Gracia will, “Then promise your teacher this. I don’t care about _why_ you’re going to fight, whether it be to resist your fate or to carry out whatever burden you’ve convinced yourself to shoulder. But you must live to see the world change into one of peace. Do you understand?”

Her eyes are full of tears, and she stutters something Koshōshō can’t quite make out. But her expression is confirmation enough that she understands.

(In a few years, after Kyūshū is conquered and the main force of the Toyotomi army is marching towards Odawara Castle, a certain Hōjō Ujiyasu makes another girl promise the same thing. Koshōshō will never realize this when the cannonballs come raining down on Osaka Castle, but if she did, things would’ve gone much more differently.

Instead, she allowed that girl to break her promise. She can forget about the hundreds of men she’s let die and the chaos she’s spread with her ambition, but if she learnt about that, she would never forgive herself.)

~*~

“First you're dragged into this, now your enemies the Shimazu and Hōjō are outdoing you in terms of rebellion. Yet you still don't believe yourself to be the victim of misfortune?”

It’s a simple question. One Koshōshō doesn’t expect to get a satisfactory answer to, considering how Motochika still allows her to stay by his side after everything she’s almost _certain_ she brought forth with her misfortune. It doesn’t make sense, how anyone can bear the brunt of all that bad luck and still laugh in the face of it, but Motochika rarely makes sense anyway.

“No, not at all. I'm fighting to bring an end to this chaos, and to remain alive while doing so. The cries of the fallen, and your feelings, as one who has changed her fate... this is the moment they all come together. I actually feel most fortunate!”

Case in point.

Koshōshō almost scoffs at that, but stops herself.

~*~

At first, it’s disbelief, because Koshōshō can’t quite grasp the fact that someone so loud in his life would be able to die so quietly.

But now, Shikoku is so much more peaceful, and not so much in the good way. Even if she is one of the heads of the island, she leaves the duties to Motochika’s son-- her dreams of conquest and power were discarded years ago, after all.

“He died peacefully,” a messenger said, and now she _scoffs_ as if she’s been waiting to do so for years. Because Motochika would most definitely not die that way, he’d resist it till the end.

But then, maybe that’s why it caught everyone by surprise, and with that realization she finally caught a boat to Kyoto, where a certain ‘Hosokawa Gracia’ was waiting.

~*~

“I knew I shouldn’t have come.”

Those words catch Gracia by surprise, but they come from Koshōshō's lips with solemn familiarity. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be alone, but look where that got us.” It’s jarring at all to hear such an unashamed apology, much more from someone named the maid of misfortune.

Hideyoshi’s death spelled nothing good. Sure, it was Motochika’s that really made her slip up, but she should’ve _known--_ she should’ve seen this coming, in the waxing and waning of the moon, in the battle plans that used to form in her head.

“Teacher…” Gracia is the only thing that hasn’t changed, in a castle that’s new to her. And now, there’s an army surrounding them, an army only newly-formed.

And the Chōsokabe forces are among them. She knows, because Motochika’s descendants will struggle till the bitter end, and Gracia will as well, why did they have to end up struggling on different sides of the--

“When I first heard that you were waiting to see me, teacher, I turned over the table I was eating on because I was in too much of a hurry to go out and see you.” But here she is, in the castle of her student (an enemy’s wife), listening to her speak.

“And remember when I greeted you? I yelled so loudly and so early in the morning, the birds woke up and flew away from the tree!”

Koshōshō shakes her head, almost unable to look at Gracia’s beaming face. “Come on, just say what you want to say. I’m unused to you beating around the bush like this.”

And she’s also unused to her student looking so _old._ She’s still Gracia, sure-- hiding in boxes to spook servants, trying to following Tadaoki into battle, so on so forth. But she’s not supposed to sound so mature.

She’s not supposed to grow up like this.

“Teacher, I’m glad you came to stay with me when you did. Even if you think this happened because of your misfortune. Because we’re pals!”

(Gracia called someone else a pal, a man who had his home destroyed so many years ago. Koshōshō knew him well herself; she wished him good luck in avenging his friends, because she knew that if she had the chance, she would do the same.

Except all her friends are gone because of no one but herself.)

“…Gracia.”

And out of nowhere, Gracia’s smile falters just slightly, and Koshōshō finally realizes that her student has learnt how to fake it. “Which is why I can’t let you die here either, teacher. There’s a secret passage in my room, next to my bed. You can use it to get out from underneath the castle and rejoin your forces.”

Oh, hell, she knows where this is going.

“And you’re going to lead me out of here yourself, right, Gracia?” Now, the girl’s (can Koshōshō call her a girl anymore?) smile is completely gone, replaced with something of a melancholic expression. “…Don’t you dare. What happened to resisting till the end, against impossible odds?”

“I am resisting!” Her voice reaches a high peak, as it always does when she has something to prove. And that, Koshōshō laments, is one of the only things about Gracia that hasn’t changed. “But they’ve surrounded us completely. They only want to capture me, teacher.”

Koshōshō can only scowl, before grabbing the scarf around her neck. “So what? You’re going to give yourself up and let me run free? Not a chance.”

Gracia doesn't really go back to smiling.

“Not exactly.”

A servant steps into the room, and Koshōshō immediately notices that he has a sword in his hands. “Teacher, my husband will definitely defect to the Western army once he hears I’ve been captured. But that’s going to put him in danger.”

“Don’t you _dare,”_ she says again, and her scarf slips off her neck. “You don’t have to protect me, and you don’t have to protect your husband. Gracia--”

A blast of magic hits Koshōshō’s legs and freezes them in place, onto the wooden floor. She realizes too late that Gracia still has her bracelets on. “Good-bye, teacher. But I’m sure you still have something to fight for.”

“Gracia, you made a promise--”

“I’m sorry.”

(Everyone has to go, sometime.)

When the armed servant steps out to the balcony alongside Gracia, Koshōshō’s feet only thaw when the castle goes up in flames. The army is long gone, retreated at the sight of Gracia’s self-ordered beheading right in front of them.

~*~

The thought of fighting alongside the man who caused her student’s death is something that appalls her, but she’s still the pseudo-leader of Shikoku. And she still has something of a family to protect, right down to the bitter end.

When the Western Army is defeated, she’s not sure just _what_ to feel, but she keeps them safe. The remnants of Motochika’s family survives, though for how long, she’s not sure. And during the battle, she uses the little commanding power she has to make sure Hosokawa Tadaoki is at most only met with minimal resistance on his part of the battlefield-- if Gracia’s willing to meet death for him, then hell, there has to be a good reason to keep him alive.

Their fief is revoked, obviously, and years past in tense seclusion. She knows something’s going to happen, she _knows_ that the Tokugawa are not going to leave the Toyotomi alive-- the fact that the few people she still wants to protect are in constant danger somehow makes time pass by faster.

(Kai charges to protect Yukimura, along with his shinobi. Another promise is broken.)

“Oh,” she says one day, when she hears that Motochika’s heir has been beheaded in Kyoto.

Confusion passed over faces when they heard she was going to fight on their side. And now, she’s lost one of the reasons left to justify herself. Not all of them, though, not at all-- and she flees with her life. Barely.

Because no matter what, she’s always just that lucky.

(If you want to protect something, you have to keep living. Or do you? If only that was the actual truth.)

She will live, because she is still alive when others are not, and she will fight in their memory. She fights for the dead, something she would’ve considered absolutely idiotic all those years ago.

Before Koshōshō leaves to find another life, she first finds a way to visit all their graves. The graves of everyone whose faces she remembers, who have names which still sound clear in her head. A lady like her can still get around easily, but that’s not the point.

At every tombstone, from her father to Gracia, and even Magoichi’s, after extensive research-- she bows her head for just a moment, as if in apology.

But there is no one left to forgive her.

**Author's Note:**

> oops
> 
> also gracia historically got beheaded when mitsunari went knocking at her door so she wouldn't be kidnapped and to protect her honor so here u go


End file.
